ARE YOU A FATHER OR A SPERM DONOR?

On Sunday, The 15th day of June, 2014 all around the world, we celebrated fathers' day. Fathers graced several DPs, gift items flew around, fathers took over church services in several churches and special events were hosted in honour of the men we call Fathers! But among all these pious looking men on fathers' day are Child sexual abusers, wife beaters, alcoholics, etc...

The fact that you have something dangling between your legs doesn't qualify you a man. In the same vein, just getting a woman pregnant does  not cloth you with the status and dignity of fatherhood, for if it does, my dog Caesar, would have been the world's most celebrated dad of all times!

The making of a real father!

If getting a woman pregnant isn't enough to  earn the status of a father,  what then is required towards attaining the lofty height of a world class father worth celebrating? To answer this question, lets study the book of 1Timothy 5:8.

                                "But if any provide not for his own, and

                                  specially for those of his own house, he hath

                                 denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel..."

Now, the above quoted passage isn't coming as a shock to many people for it is general knowledge among Christians. But my purpose of bringing it out here is to discuss it and indeed bring about deeper understanding of it than the very shallow interpretations that we've given it over time. Whenever this chapter of the bible is being discussed, our minds only run to materials provisions. No doubt, material provisions like shelter, food and clothing are sacrosanct. Providing for your family's material needs is basic; they are the foundation upon which other forms of provisions stand including the ones am about to share.

Two kinds of provisions that are scarcely provided in our families. As fathers, God has enjoined us to provide for the well being of our family without exceptions. Fathers from ages past have neglected this aspect of providing. Several generations have tagged men who tend to pay considerable attention to this department of provision as weak men or lazy men  but the 21st century has revealed to us that they are the fathers who are worth celebrating for they have earned it by the demonstrated commitment toward raising balanced children. These are fathers who take time out to provide for the emotional needs of their children and who look into their eyes and assure them of their commitment to loving them no matter what happens.

Love and Time are two very important items that determine whether you'll succeed or fail as a father. Unfortunately, these items are scarcely provided for in families, causing our children to buy them at very exorbitant prices which sometimes cost them their purity, their pride, self worth, unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) In some cases, our children pay for these items with their lives as some of them end up being raped and murdered in their search for the love and attention we as their parents fail to give them.

We've seen and perhaps know fathers who lavish gifts, presents and money on their kids as way of compensating them for the times they are not available. They don't have the time to listen or pay attention to the yearnings and cravings of the young minds of this growing children because they are travelling from one state to the other, one country or continent to the other in pursuit of the material things of this world. Every once in a while, their conscience prick them about the things they are not doing right concerning devoting time for their family. To console themselves, they lavish them with more gifts and tell themselves, we are working so hard to leave an inheritance for our children.

A lot of boys grow up to become sissies  not because they wish to, but simply because they were raised solely  by their mothers while their father is often away chasing after the good life for the good of his family. Let me state it here that often, our fathers do these thing with very good intentions. Per adventure, growing up, they faced untold hardship and poverty, they decided that same will not repeat with their children. But I want us to pause for a minute and ask ourselves this question; "what is wealth when our children are misfits?" Or where lies the meaning of leaving an inheritance, when it will end up in the hands of some drug addicts, or unstable children? Is it worth all the stress at the long run? That will not be our portion in Jesus name. But if you must have children that will blossom in the gospel of Christ and stand out in the crowd in their generation, you must earn it. It doesn't just come to you by mere wishes. Pastors are not exempted from this malady. We have many pastors that have succeeded in molding other peoples' live and families while theirs are in shambles. That's some form of foolishness if you ask me. Your devotion as a pastor is to your family first, after GOD before your congregation.

Becoming a super Dad, what should I do?

Regardless of the fact that millions of fathers have failed God and their families in this regard, we still have others who are doing great in their family life. The secret of those doing great in this realm is that they realized that the business of bringing up the children is for both parents. By Bible standards, child upbringing isn't the exclusive reserve of the woman neither is their fatherhood by proxy. You are either a father indeed or you're no father at all.

Growing up, I did not have the affection of my father. I've always been my mother's darling and I so craved my father's affection. I was a teenager when my Dad passed on. I was in SS3. I did not miss him that much. 

In fact, in my secret, I thanked God profusely that it was Dad that died and not my mother. I wonder what I would have turned out to become if I lost my mother at that tender age. I discussed my first wet dream with my mother. I was so terrified because I thought I had been possessed by some sort of demon. However, I missed my father's Saturdays delicious yam porridge with lots of dried fish.  Now, that's not a cool way to remember one's Dad. So, I made a solemn vow to be my children's best friend.

Starting from the word go, learn to share the responsibilities of raising the child. Learn to feed that little creature that God through her, has brought to earth. Master the art of changing diaper, offer to baby-seat while you give your wife  a window of opportunity to breathe. She'll sing your praises to high heavens. Offer to strap your baby with one of this baby carriers as you go shopping. Not just because your wife is busy with chores, but just so that she can get some rest. No amount of sacrifice is enough brother. Remember, she carried that child for nine months alone with its attendant sicknesses and challenges. If Your work environment permits, you can offer to take junior to work one of these Fridays. You'll soon become an iconic Dad! Don't just be another father out there, become an Amazing DAD! Remember, great fathers are not born, they are made. They are a creation of hard work, determination and dedication. Make up your mind to become a world-class FATHER today!

My name still remain Perez Okezuonu, I am #LegallyBlunt